Starting Over
by breannacarter
Summary: Spanking story (M/F). AU. Even if nobody else is there for Angela, she knows that she can rely on Seeley. Will he be able to help her after her grandmother's death? Or will her bad habits send her life into a more chaotic spiral?
1. Chapter 1

_Spanking story, M/F, consensual-ish_

_**A/N**: This is an AU in which Angela & Seeley Booth have a slightly different background (explained in _story_). Revised 2.10._2020

_**Summary**: Even if nobody else is there for Angela, she knows that she can rely on Seeley. Will he be able to help her after her grandmother's death? Or will her bad habits send her life into a more chaotic spiral?_

-x-x-x-x-

"You scared the shit out of me!" I gasped at the tall, muscular figure as I climbed in from the fire escape, putting a hand over my chest and taking a deep breath. "How long have you been home?"

"Long enough to know what you were doing." Seeley folded his arms, dark eyes icy in a mixture of disappointment and anger. "You didn't tell me you started smoking."

Tossing the half-empty pack of cigarettes onto my bed, which was just a futon in the corner of his living room blocked off by a couple of tall privacy screens, I shrugged him off and started walking towards the kitchen, but he blocked my path. Scowling, I looked up at him. "Am I supposed to confess all of my bad habits to you?"

He didn't answer, instead trying to read me and figure out his next move. This had become a pattern recently... Any time I let him down these last couple of weeks we'd have a similar confrontation, neither of us comfortable with fully expressing our emotions yet, just trying to find our balance and figure out if being roomies would work.

"Angela," he said finally, "sit down. Let's talk."

Seeley's tone sent a chill down my spine, giving me a flashback of six years before, sobbing over his lap with a blistered backside. My heart thumped wildly at the memory of my first punishment, and butterflies began fluttering in my stomach, throat drying up. I pushed the thoughts away, composing myself as I followed him to the sofa, only making eye contact after we sat.

"You dealt with a lot these last years, and I know it will take time to rebuild our friendship after not seeing each other for so long. So I've been talking with a friend of mine... a psychotherapist... you would probably like her..." He paused to gauge my reaction, and I tried to keep my facial expressions in check so he wouldn't be able to read me.

"Why do you think I'd like her?" My pathetic attempt to control the conversation. Talking about the past was not on my agenda. So much to say, yet so little he needed to know.

He sighed, undoubtedly making a mental note of my defenses, then half-smiled. "You both ask a lot of questions," he said with a sincere chuckle. "I see what you're trying to do, kiddo, and it won't work." But it did. He stopped beating around the bush and moved towards the point: "You've been here a month, what's your plan going forward?"

His honesty helped ease my nerves, and I let a slight smile emerge. "We've had this conversation before. I don't plan."

"Well then please tell me, what spontaneous act will happen in your life next?"

"You realize that the point of spontaneity is not knowing what will happen, nor when, right?"

He sighed. "Angela, it's time to establish..."

"Where does your psychologist friend come in?"

Being cut off mid-sentence caused Seeley's brow to furrow, and his eyes to change from icy-cold to watery-rage. But instead of entertaining my insolence, he completed his sentence: "... some ground rules."

"What? Ground rules? What does that even mean?"

"Stop interrupting me," he snapped in such a sharp tone that it caused me to jump a little in surprise. His no-nonsense glare made me think again of that first spanking.

_"It's no big deal, I'll make sure we get a good grade," I'd said with a flirtatious giggle and carefree shrug. I was only 19, used to doing the bare minimum in school and still getting good grades thanks to my charm._

_Seeley's lips pursed and arms folded in annoyance. "Then why bother coming over today?"_

_A blush spread across my cheeks and I bit my lower lip, not wanting to admit that it was because I had a crush on him. "I promised I'd show up, and I don't break promises."_

_"You also promised to get your work done, what about that?"_

_My head shook. "I never said that. I said I promise that the work will get done so we get a good grade."_

_"How is that different?" His nostrils flared, speaking before I could respond. "You know what you need? A good spanking."_

_A nervous giggle came out, much to both of our disapproval. Then without thinking, I said, "I dare you."_

_And that's when he took my upper arm in hand and half-dragged me to the sofa, sitting and pulling me over his lap. I panicked, half-struggling to break free. "Wait, I was joking...!"_

_"I wasn't," he responded in a bored tone, beginning to rain down swats over my thin yoga pants. They were stingy and quick, causing me to squirm. "You're going to act like a child, I'll treat you like one." His hand was so large that it covered almost my entire bottom at once, and within seconds I was kicking and crying out, now feeling like a kid._

_"Okay, okayyyy!" I pleaded. "You can stop now!"_

_But he ignored my cries, and the swats became more intense. "It's time someone teaches you a lesson about responsibility."_

"The reason I mentioned my psychologist friend is because I want you to meet her," Seeley said, snapping me back into the present moment.

"Talking to a shrink and having another person analyze and judge me? As if you being an FBI agent isn't enough already? No, thank you." My voice dripped with annoyance, though my palms were sweaty and I was ready to run. _All this drama for a stupid cigarette?_

"She won't judge you… much."

"Uh-huh… sure she won't. It's not like that's her job."

"I'm not trying to convince you to be her patient. I think you would benefit from having someone to talk to and help you deal with this... transition. And she has good job connections."

"I don't need help." My arms folded in a pouty huff, and I glanced up at him to see what he would do about it.

He frowned. "We'll see about that." Breaking eye contact for the first time, Seeley cleared his throat. Whatever he was about to say seemed to make him uncomfortable, though he excelled at hiding it. "I've noticed that discipline and positive motivation have been lacking in your life for some time." He chose his words with caution, careful not to offend. "And I think it would be valuable for someone trustworthy to guide you towards a healthier lifestyle, even if it requires you hate the person sometimes."

My blood started pumping and body trembled. I could guess where he was going with this, and not sure if I was more excited or scared.

"When there was structure in your life, you thrived. You had dreams and were motivated to achieve them. Remember, you were so determined to go to art school?"

Of course I remembered, and I still kinda had that dream, but so much had happened in the years that Seeley and I hadn't seen each other. Now it made more sense to stay off the grid. "I was never good enough. And art school takes too much time and energy."

"It's been hard for you dropping out of university and taking care of your grandmother... And with absent parents... Life and people have let you down again and again, and you've lost hope. But now there's a light at the end of the tunnel... You have endless possibilities and opportunities in New York City. You can accomplish anything!" His face lit up as he spoke, smiling inside. But then he became serious again, leaning in towards me and giving a stern, matter-of-fact look. "Angela, don't mess this up."

I knew Seeley was making me feel a certain way on purpose because his job is basically manipulating people to get what he wants. But I wasn't one of his FBI cases. I wasn't just some dumb criminal for him to play with my feelings. He wouldn't control me that easily, so I told him just that.

"I realize you aren't one of my cases. You're my friend, and I care about you." He kept an even tone, suggesting that he had expected my minor outburst. "I see so much potential not being used while you're lying around all day, apparently smoking cigarettes and who knows what else."

"Where are you going with this?" I snapped, rolling my eyes. "Just spit it out already!"

"You won't tell me details of what's happened with you these last few years, and I'm giving you space to tell me on your own instead of pushing you to confess everything. But you've lied to me about more than smoking—don't look so surprised, as you said, it's my job to read people. For example, have you applied to one single job since you've been here?"

I looked away in shame, wondering what else he suspected.

"Certainly you haven't, but you've made me believe otherwise. Am I happy you're smoking and slacking off? Of course not, but it bothers me more when you blatantly lie to my face."

Still staring at the floor, tears formed in my eyes. I wasn't sure how to answer him.

"You like to push my buttons and see how far you get before I react."

"That's not true," I argued, wanting to say more, but Seeley interrupted me this time.

"And I think you need a hard, bare bottom spanking."

"W-What?! N-no!" I'd tried to shout my answer in anger, but it came out hoarse, nervous, afraid.

"I would also like to propose that we make a plan to change your lifestyle. It's possible to drop unhealthy habits by enforcing a system of rewards and consequences. My gut is sometimes wrong, but I sense that you've been pushing buttons for years, crossing lines to see what you can get away with, and instead of being challenged, people have given in to your big brown eyes and pouty lips." He stood now, looming over me. "You've wanted someone who will fight back, establish boundaries and not take any of your bullshit."

He left me speechless, ashamed to admit that he was spot-on... nobody had ever read me so clearly. That's part of the reason I'd come to New York, anyway. Maybe with Seeley's guidance, I could stay out of trouble.

Millions of thoughts raced through my head as my roommate went to the kitchen to retrieve a straight-backed wooden chair. He placed it in the middle of the living room and came towards me, taking hold of my wrist and helping me to my feet.

"It's clear you're running away from something, trying to start a new life. If you truly want that, I can help."

I'd been waiting for a spanking since moving in with him a month ago, but now a surge of anxiety washed over me, causing me to sink into an awkward silence and become hyper-aware of my senses. Seeley's bronze-colored fingers were warm and sticky clasped around my wrist, and I breathed in the earthy scent of his cologne. In the distance, the clock's ticking made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my heart pump at full force.

I looked up and studied my friend. His red tie was slightly loosened, shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows and exposing his strong forearms. His thick black hair had a light layer of gel holding it in place and beard was neatly trimmed. It took a few deep breaths before I mustered the courage to look into his eyes, immediately noticing a hint of vulnerability. He's as nervous as I am.

I gave a slight nod as if probing him to continue. The insecurity that had been present quickly faded, and now his dominance took over.

Seeley sat in the chair and grabbed the belt loop of my jeans, pulling me towards him. "Young Lady," he said in a low and stern voice, "I don't know how long it's been since someone gave you a good spanking, but I can guarantee that it's been too long."

He tugged at my pants, then I heard my zipper opening. Seeley's fingertips brushed against my belly as he moved my shirt away and pushed my pants and panties to the floor, leaving me vulnerable. I started panicking inside, screaming at myself to do something to make this stop, but then I heard: "Quitting smoking will be tough, and I intend to be with you every step of the way to help in your moments of weakness." A gentle breeze caressed my thighs and goosebumps formed on my arms. "Moving forward, you will be spanked any time you smoke, do you understand? Ten swats with the hairbrush for each cigarette."

I shrugged.

Without missing a beat, Seeley slapped my left butt cheek, and hard. I hadn't been expecting that! "Owww! What was that for?" I whined, reaching back to rub the sting away. He gave me a look, so I allowed myself to submit enough to say, "I meant, 'yes Sir, I understand'."

He gave a half-smile, happy that I was willing to join his spanko game and play the submissive role.

Seeley's fingers enclosed around my wrist again, and he jerked me forward to lie across his lap. I wiggled myself into a moderately comfortable position, his warm hand resting on my cool naked bottom. Seeley's legs felt calm and confident underneath me, unlike my own body that quivered with fear. The dry taste of nervousness in my mouth mixed with the disgusting flavor of Marlboro Lights as I listened to our next-door neighbor's laughter, idly worried about how much they'd hear of my punishment.

"As I was saying earlier," Seeley began, circling my waist with his left arm and tensing up as if he were getting ready to deliver the first swat, "your routine is about to change. No more staying up all night, no more sleeping until late afternoon. The first step towards a better life is taking care of your physical health. We will structure your days to include healthy meals, exercise, and a good night's sleep."

Grrr… He'd waited until I was over his lap to tell me all of that because he'd suspected my resistance. "Wait, what? Don't I get a say in this?!" I asked, looking back angrily, not able to move as freely as I would have liked.

"Not until we've established good habits, which will take about a month, the same time I've given you to do this alone. Since you have made no progress doing things your way, we'll try mine."

"What if it doesn't work?" I asked weakly, wondering if it was too late to run away.

"Then we will have another discussion to figure out what will." With that, he tightened his grip on me and landed the first sharp smack to my bare bottom. It didn't take me entirely by surprise, hurting about as much as expected, though my tolerance was higher than I'd given myself credit for. Maybe it won't be too bad.

Seeley followed up with another slow, precise swat, so hard that my bottom jiggled afterward. I blushed profusely at that thought when he landed the next, beginning to develop a rhythm. My goal was to take the punishment with little noise, but as his pace quickened, it became more challenging to stay quiet.

"I didn't think I'd need to punish you like this again," Seeley commented, delivering an especially hard swat to my right sit spot, then another to my left.

"Me either," I lied, biting on my hand to keep myself from shouting out in pain.

"I'm going easy on you today since it's only the second time I've spanked you."

I was fearfully excited at the prospect of knowing what a "real" spanking would be like if this was going easy on me! He was doing such a thorough job, covering every inch of my bottom. It was tingling and stinging all over, and each spank made the pain more intense.

"And in the future," he said, increasing the intensity of his smacks, finally causing a whine to escape my lips, "I expect you to be more honest with me."

I groaned in response, not totally sure that I was on board with his expectations, but not wanting to argue given my current position.

He must have suspected my noncompliance because he increased the speed and intensity of the swats, so much that I was squirming and whining even more. "After this punishment, you'll have a clean slate. Now is a good time if there is anything else to get off your chest."

The spanking stopped for a second and Seeley rested his hand on my warm bottom before pulling my chin so I'd look into his eyes. He was silent for a moment, only studying my face, checking for any clue that I had more to hide.

"Let go, kiddo. Let go of your past and the guilt, cry it out."

"I can't," I whispered.

He helped me up and my hands flew to my bottom to rub out the sting, but instead of letting me, Seeley held onto my upper arm while walking me to the couch, delivering a smack with each step. "I see that I've been too nice." He let go of my arm and I looked up, noticing that his icy glare had come back. "Bend over," he said, pointing to the armrest on the sofa. His cold words pierced something inside of me... maybe it was my submissive side. I obediently bent over, raising my bottom high into the air, and turning my head so I could see as he unbuckled his belt. It was black leather, thick and wide, the kind of belt that's associated with a "good butt-whuppin'."

"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" He folded the belt over once and held it casually to his side, waiting for my response.

"No, Sir."

He nodded, seeming to believe me. "This will not be over until you're able to let everything go, or at least some of it." Then he raised the leather and crashed it down onto the center of my bottom.

"Owwwww!" I cried. Earlier, the spanking had hurt about as much as I'd expected, but now it was much worse! And to top it off, Seeley didn't give me much recovery time before delivering the second lash, and then the third. "Ohhh Seeley, please!" I begged, now feeling his disappointment loud and clear.

He was satisfied with my cries, convinced he was getting through to me. Now I was getting proper discipline rather than just a slap on the wrist.

"Okay, okay," I howled, now trying to squirm my way off the couch. Seeley's hand pressed against my back, gently pushing me back down as he delivered a deafening lash across my bottom. "Owwwwww, I'm getting the message!" I told him. But now he'd realized that to get his message across, actions were more important than words, so he remained silent. "Izaaaaaak!" I howled, now burying my face into my hands and letting the first real tears slide down my cheeks. "It hurts too muchhhh," I said, kicking up my right foot, only to have it pushed back down before another lash.

"Be still," he commanded.

His firm, yet calm voice mesmerized me.

"Put both feet flat onto the floor and stick your bottom out. And do NOT make me tell you again."

"But Seeley," I cried, now letting the tears flow more freely. I was almost ready to let him win.

I locked my feet into place and stuck my throbbing, red bottom into the air as if I was asking for more punishment. "These last ten will be hard and fast. If you get out of position, we will start over again. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir," I said, squeezing my hands together and clenching my butt cheeks. I heard the jingle of the belt buckle, then the loud cracking sound of the leather meeting my flesh. The stinging sensation spread through me, and I cried out just in time to receive the second one, inches below the first. I recited to myself each of the lashes, only losing count when struck on my sit spots. That was when my tense body relaxed and I collapsed into the couch, crying softly. I was finished resisting and now only focused on my tears and physical pain.

Seeley finished up the swats and stood behind me, allowing me to cry. I could feel the heat radiating from my bottom, and even through my tears of embarrassment and shame, I wondered what it looked like. Was it cherry-red? Were there stripes from the belt?

The floor creaked as Seeley walked towards me, stooping down to my level and moving my hair out of the way until he could find my face. I looked up, eyes red and puffy, the tears still coming. I was sniffling and hiccupping and confused.

"Nothing else you need to tell me?" he asked again, with tired and friendly eyes.

"No, Sir," I answered as he scooped me onto his lap with a bear hug. My face pressed into his chest, thoughts racing about everything I wished I could say.

But I couldn't, not with him being an FBI agent. Because once you confess, there's no taking it back.


	2. Chapter 2

_Spanking story, M/F, consensual-ish_

_**A/N****:** Chapter 1 was updated. This is an AU in which characters have different backgrounds. I went __with Jessica Warren as Seeley's psychotherapist friend, but really it's just a female _Sweets_._

_I have made this an original story but wanted to share a couple more chapters of the fanfic version._

-x-x-x-x-

A loud pounding on the wall woke me up, followed by Seeley's booming voice. "Montenegro! Rise and shine!" The fancy down-feather comforter was ripped away, leaving me exposed in my pajama shorts and tank top. I poked my butt out slightly, hoping the lovely view would entice him to play with me instead of forcing me out of bed. "Remember, today we start doing things my way for a month."

I groaned and rolled over to my stomach, ignoring his perkiness.

"You won't like what happens if you don't get up on your own," Seeley warned, heavy footsteps fading as he walked away.

My lips curved up in a smile, thinking I'd won and Seeley had left. Instead, the room suddenly brightened, and I realized that he had opened the curtains, flooding the space with sunlight. The cure for that? Pillow over the head. "It's too early to get up! No one needs a resume at…" I pried an eye open to glance at my phone. "5:52 in the morning! Are you joking?"

"You're lucky I didn't wake you up twenty-two minutes ago. C'mon, time for our workout."

"HA HA HA that's funny Seeley."

He snatched the pillow off my head. "I'm serious."

I grumbled and peeled my eyes back enough to glare at him. He towered over me, my pillow and blanket tucked under his left arm, while his right hand rested on his hip like an annoyed babysitter. Rays of sunshine outlined his muscular frame, blinding me from being able to see his facial expression, but I could tell by his silhouette that his jaw was tense. "Damn, you really are serious."

"Up. Now."

Perhaps his military speak worked with other girls, but it wouldn't work with me. Instead, I gave an exaggerated eye-roll and turned over away from him.

It was impossible to return to sleep, though. My heart was pounding too hard as I wondered what Seeley would do.

Time paused while he processed my behavior. He wasn't used to insubordination — Seeley's firm bark was enough to get most people to cooperate. Few rebels dared test his patience. I was already starting to regret it as I waited for him to respond.

He didn't move for a moment, but then threw the bedding at my feet and clomped to the kitchen, opened a drawer, took something out, and pounded back towards me.

_SMACK!_

"Owwwwwww!" The wooden spoon caught me by surprise. I bucked up and reached to rub out the sting.

"I warned you," he said, reaching for my wrist and pushing me onto the futon. Without letting me argue, he swatted the implement down again.

"Ooowwwww Seeley, c'mon it's too early!" I squealed, hating myself for not wearing thicker pajamas. This spoon was no joke!

"You have a busy day and we're starting it with cardio, whether it's going for a run or giving you an hour-long spanking, your choice." Then the wood peppered against my bare sit spots and I yelped.

"Noooooo I don't like those options!"

Seeley's only response was another flurry of swats to my sit spots, and then a few more to the seat of my pjs. I squirmed and tried to break free, water filling my eyes in anger that he wouldn't just let me sleep. He would win this fight, and I didn't want him to. _Why did I agree with his stupid idea?_

"Well? What's the verdict?"

My hesitation earned me an especially hard swat, and I finally allowed the tears to spill out. "Fine! I'll go on the run!"

I ignored the satisfaction in his eyes as he backed away and granted me the space to get up. "Be ready in ten, or you know what will happen," he said, tapping the wooden spoon against his palm.

"Whatever," I grumbled, digging in the only duffle bag I hadn't unpacked. It'd been ages since I'd considered exercising… and as much as I probably needed someone to make me do it, I was definitely not feeling it at the moment. It made me second guess (again) my decision to move in with him.

_Shit, I already need a cigarette. Will he notice if I sneak a smoke in the bathroom while getting ready?_

As if reading my mind he said, "no cigarettes. Part of the purpose of running is to sweat out the toxins and addictive chemicals."

I rolled my eyes again, finally settling on something to wear. When I turned around, Seeley was closer to me than I'd expected and had a much more compassionate demeanor. "Don't tell me this is for my own good," I sneered.

He smiled and stepped out of my way. At least I could read his mind, too.

x-x-x-x

Chirping birds echoed between the red brick buildings as yellow sun rays beamed in my barely-opened eyes. While I ran, I tried to stay focused on Seeley who was slightly ahead, mindful not to lose me but also encouraging that I not lag behind like we were on a leisurely stroll.

We stopped at a redlight, sweat beading on my forehead. I hunched over with my hands on my knees, butt sticking out as if I was waiting to get paddled, trying to catch my breath. "How long... are we... doing this?" I panted, glaring at my roommate who continued jogging in place.

"We've just started!" The light changed and he bolted forward, glancing back. "C'mon! Sweat those toxins out!"

I grumbled at Seeley's giddiness, but followed the next few blocks until we reached Astoria Park. I'd assumed the torture was over and we were there to enjoy the view, but much to my displeasure, my roommate led me to a handful of runners stretching in a circle. As we approached they smiled, a few of them stopping to give a fist bump or high five.

Most of the group appeared closer to Seeley's age than mine, a mixture of men and women, mostly middle-class boring-looking white people. Only one stood out to me — He wore a backward baseball cap with a sticker that said, _Hello, my name is: JACK_. In all caps and underlined, like he expects you to remember it, and he's too unconventional or conceited to write like a normal person. He wore dark shorts and a blue zipped-up off-brand hoodie, equipped with nearly-white running shoes. His gaze was mildly curious, somewhat judgmental and scrutinizing.

_Probably a doctor._

"I'd like to introduce you to my roommate." Seeley stepped aside and presented me to everyone.

My cheeks reddened with embarrassment. What a horrible moment to meet a half dozen strangers! My hair was a frizzy wet mess and I smelled like garlic-y onions. All I wanted was a cigarette, shower, and nap, in that order. But I shyly waved back at the enthusiastic crowd.

"Angela moved to the area last month, and today I finally convinced her to join us." Seeley's large hand clapped on my shoulder and he chuckled, eyeing Jack who appeared to guess that I didn't consent to exercising.

_Also probably a spanko._

I was thrust into the circle next to a young brunette who introduced herself as Daisy, while Seeley went to the head of the group, leading us in stretches. It took all of my concentration to mirror his poses, but I was exhausted from being awake so early and having run already, so mostly failed miserably. When I was ready to cry and give up, Seeley barked an order and everyone took off running on the dirt track except Jack.

"If you can make it to the street, there's a bench to hide out," he said with a wink, scampering to catch up with the others.

A growl vibrated my teeth but I followed on jelly legs. Seeley led the group, long legs giving him a huge advantage. A trio of post-grads were a few yards behind, then a pair of women, and Jack at the back, only a few feet ahead of me. My jog died down to a saunter when I rounded the corner, eyes landing on the narrow street. A bench was tucked behind a few newspaper machines, shaded by a large oak tree. With a relieved sigh, I plopped down, catching my breath.

_This month will be torture_, I told myself, glancing at two pigeons fighting over breadcrumbs. Seeley seemed determined to make my life a living hell, probably so I'd run away instead of him feeling guilty about kicking me out. _How does he expect me to exercise, get up early, and quit smoking all at once?_ A lump formed in my throat as I considered that maybe I'd never live up to his expectations and end up losing his support and friendship anyway. Like always happened with my dad.

Tears pooling in my eyes, I breathed in the sticky air, trying to focus on the scenery. A massive bridge stretched across the East River, leading my vision to the Manhattan skyline. Buildings scattered around the island reached for the puffy white clouds. Cars sped down the parkway, reminding me that life moves on, even if my own world stops momentarily.

_I'm not my parents. And I'm great at faking it til I make it and not getting caught. I can do this._

I repeated the words to myself hundreds of times as I waited for my pulse to return to normal and the sweat to evaporate. Eventually, a stillness spread through my body, causing me to forget my thoughts and the pain in my calves. The only thing missing was a good cigarette...

My heart jumped remembering that I was supposed to be jogging laps! I peeked above the newspaper stand to see that some of the group had finished and were sitting in the grass, stretching and drinking bottled water. Jack was jogging towards me drenched in sweat, eyes locking with mine. I made sure Seeley wasn't paying attention and bolted back to the track, falling into rhythm with Jack for the final meters, finally smiling. My inner pep talk and the sprint had lifted my spirits, and when I joined the huddle with a giggle, falling into the dewey green grass next to my roommate, I almost felt like part of the club.

After small talk and cooling off, everyone stood and dispersed. We walked with Jack and Daisy since they lived in the same direction as us. Sensing that a scolding would be coming, I lagged behind Seeley, letting him suffer with the chatty co-ed while I fraternized with the guy who helped me hide.

"I'm Jack, by the way," he breathed, lips slightly curved up.

Pointing to his cap, I said, "I noticed." My chest tingled and belly felt hungry with attraction to the shaggy, beta male.

Jack's blue eyes twinkled as he strolled beside me, enthralled by my natural beauty (though I wasn't looking my best). "So you're Seeley's new roomie? I have to admit, I imagined someone less... feminine."

My eyebrows raised. "I guess he didn't share many details about me?"

"You know how he is, very cut and dry, giving info on a need-to-know basis. Work hazard. Jessica's the only one who has the patience to crack open his shell. I suppose that's the difference between going to medical school versus social work school."

"So you're a doctor."

He nodded. "M.D. and Doctor of Psychology. But I employ people like Jessica to deal with the more sensitive cases — growing up in Brooklyn gave me a blunt disposition that doesn't work for all. I'm guessing you have tougher skin than appears, since you and Seeley are friendly. He doesn't exactly ooze with loving kindness. You look like an artist."

I turned to study him and figure out how he read me so easily. My whole life I'd fooled everyone, and now there was a second person who saw right through me... _Wtf?_ "So you're in private practice?"

"Ohh, turning the conversation back to me. I see you didn't enjoy that I made assumptions about you. My apologies. But yes, I run a mental health clinic and consult for a 'trial science' company — they help defendants by profiling and helping sway jury members. I'm also a consultant for the FBI, Seeley brings me to work cases with him sometimes."

"You're a busy guy."

"If I don't stay occupied, I fall into bad habits. Easier to prevent than save myself afterwards."

"Sounds like you've been down that road a lot in life."

He smirked. "Yes, several times. And if Seeley has you joining the running group against your will, I'm assuming the same for you."

This wasn't where I wanted our conversation to go, so I steered clear. Jack seemed trustworthy, and though my gut is good at detecting bullshit, the snarky psychiatrist gave me a sensation I didn't recognize. "What's your area of expertise? In college I was really into developmental psych, I worked in a preschool for a little while and could see everything in the kids that I learned in class."

Jack's eyebrow cocked. "Behavioral and criminal psychology. Understanding extreme cases and working to prevent or rehabilitate unhelpful behaviors."

"Sounds like a TV show."

"It's part of my interest in the spanking lifestyle as well."

I almost froze in shock, but consciously reminded myself to keep moving. Though I'd suspected his interest, I hadn't thought he'd admit it aloud so soon. "How so?" I replied, not wanting him to see the effect he'd had on me. But I wondered what he'd be like as a spanker. He didn't seem as serious as Seeley, but more serious than most guys I'd met with over the years, who really just wanted a sexual experience.

"Think about it like life coaching with real consequences. My current spankee, Daisy," he said, pointing ahead as she threw her head back with an obnoxious cackle. "She's a criminal justice student but also has a full-time job at a corporation that requires her time management skills to be impeccable. When we started working together in January, she was struggling to juggle all of her duties at once. Now she's an intern at the trial science company and hasn't missed a deadline since winter. She suffered from punishments several times, but they were effective. She also receives rewards. There's a formula I use..."

"What's in it for you?"

His lips pressed together as he thought for a moment, not having expected that question. "It's likely a burst of oxytocin and serotonin, and a dab of testosterone at having power/authority over someone."

Now he'd surprised me — I'd predicted a less scientific answer. I wanted to know more, but we'd reached home and approached Seeley and Daisy.

Jack turned to me and smiled. "It was lovely to meet and chat with you, Angela. See you tomorrow!"

I groaned that I may not make it, but Seeley cut me off with slapping Jack a handshake and bidding him goodbye. A smile spread across my face as I watched them disappear down the sidewalk. _Good vibes from Jack the psychiatrist. We're going to be friends._

As we did our final exercise of the day (walking up the four flights of stairs to his apartment), Seeley looked at me. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"It was awful! I can't work out every day!"

"Five mornings a week for one month, kiddo. That's all I ask." Now putting on a serious face, he said, "And next time I expect you to actually do the running with us, or I'll have to bring the wooden spoon along."

I gasped. "No way!"

"Don't test me."

x-x-x-x

When I emerged from the shower in a robe, freshly clean after our torturous run, Seeley was already dressed in his suit and tie, light cologne, and now taking his badge and gun out of the safe. If I trusted anyone with a weapon, it was him — he was never clumsy and all decisions were logic-fueled. But even so, the sight of a pistol near the place I laid my head made me shiver a bit.

"The plan for today," Seeley began, putting his pistol in the holster and ignoring my cringe at the word plan. "We're going to meet Jessica Warren, the psychotherapist friend I told you about — she's taking you shopping. I'll give you a credit card to use, just be reasonable, please."

I laughed. "You're very trusting."

"She also has a job for you. It's a receptionist at a law office — I'm acquainted with the guy. He's a hardass, smart as a whip, very respectable in his career. The pay will be above average and he'll be a good reference for future jobs."

My stomach grumbled with anxiety, not liking the description of my potential new boss. "A job already?... I dunno…"

"It can't hurt to try." He placed a hand on my shoulder, smiling with encouragement. Then, glancing at his watch, said, "come on, let's get a move on. We have to leave soon."

"If you hadn't made me exercise this morning, I'd be ready," I pouted.

He playfully reached again for the wooden spoon and I shrieked, scampering to my half of the living room and barely dodging the swat. I pushed the dividers shut as he called out, "be ready in ten."

My head poked back out. "What?! I need more time than that."

Before he could argue, his phone sounded, and he groaned in exasperation. "Fifteen minutes and not a second more." Then he slammed the device on and turned away from me, stalking into his room as he answered.

I didn't stress over what to wear, settling quickly on jean shorts with a comfy sky blue top. After dressing I sat on the futon, pulling the towel out of my hair to dry it. As I brushed through the tangles, Seeley's voice boomed over my dryer, shouting in a way I'd never witnessed before. My mind wandered to how awful it'd be if his anger were directed at me like that. _If he knew the truth... If my past came to the surface…_

The door slamming shut caught my attention, and I heard my roommate muttering obscenities under his breath. "Um, everything okay?" I turned off the dryer and emerged from my half of the room, folding the divider to the wall to see him as I straightened my hair.

Seeley stood with hands on his hips, eyebrow cocked, wanting to share with me but shook his head. "Work stuff, confidential." He softened up finally and gave a half-smile. "It's nice seeing you up and moving… you look happier."

"Believe me, I'm not," I said with a glare.

"Oh, come on, life feels better when you wake up early. Your circadian rhythm is getting back on track, you're not inhaling that cancer. Have you smoked at all since our chat?"

I shook my head, hiding a blush as I ran the iron through my hair.

"I'm proud of you, kiddo. Quitting is hard."

"What do you know about quitting?"

He sat on the couch across from me and looked me dead in the eyes. "Don't tell anyone this."

My eyebrows raised. "What did you do? Heroin? Crack?"

"I smoked cigarettes in high school and until Parker was born…"

"When you went into the military?"

"Yeah. But I stopped for Parker. I thought about how much I missed with my biological parents and didn't want him to experience the same." He swallowed the lump in his throat thinking of the past, and I sensed he was going into a dark place.

"So if your crazy ex-girlfriend hadn't lied to you about him being your kid, we could go have a smoke on the fire escape together right now?"

He let out a bitter laugh. "Ha… if she hadn't lied, I'd have never gone to the military, would've graduated earlier, never met you, and the FBI wouldn't have wanted me. Everything happens for a reason."

_If everything happens for a reason, what was the purpose of Granny dying? Or my family abandoning me?_ I wanted to ask, but finished straightening the last lock of hair, unplugged the iron and stood, glancing at the clock. "And I'm right within my 15-minute time limit!" I gulped down my sadness and raised my hand for a high five which Seeley indulged, leading me out of the apartment.


	3. Chapter3

Spanking story, M/F, consensual-ish

A/N: This is an AU in which characters have different backgrounds, explained in story.

I have decided to make this an original story and will not post anymore of the Bones fanfic version. For the original, check out my website: Breanna's Story World.

x-x-x-x

My new office building stood at least 80 stories high, a modern superstructure with sharp edges and mirrored windows. There was a security guard downstairs who had to call my future boss to let us through to the elevators, though with my sexy business outfit, I could've probably convinced him using only my good looks.

We rode to the 46th floor, then stepped into a bright white office area. Three receptionists sat at the end of the hall under gold letters than read Pearson Specter. One of them nodded at Jessica for us to pass and I followed my new friend through the maze of cubicles, hypnotized by the skyline and chic decor. Everything was much posher than I'd imagined, which just made me more excited. The environment reminded me of old schemes, attending parties with rich dates and pretending I belonged. _I can do this!_

The desk outside Mr. Harvey Specter's door was abandoned, phone light flashing due to unheard messages. Papers and folders had piled up on the corner of the desk, sticky notes strewn about. "You've arrived just in time." I looked up to see a man with slicked-back sandy brown hair, dressed in a pressed gray suit and tie, shiny shoes. He stepped to the side, inviting us in. Jessica nodded for me to go ahead so I did awkwardly, waiting for him to show me where to sit. "You haven't introduced yourself," he admonished after closing the door behind us. Jessica hadn't followed me.

"Angela Montero." I thrust my hand out to shake his, nice and firm like they teach in etiquette class.

His shake was also firm, hand warm and strong. His hazel eyes scanned me, trying to figure out if I was trustworthy. "You can call me Harvey. Have a seat."

I did as told, finding the cushioned blue chair very comfortable, despite my nervousness.

Sitting behind his large desk, Harvey sat up straight and cleared his throat. "Why should I hire you?" His expression was strict and serious, an attempt to intimidate me.

"Well, it looks like you're too busy to find anyone else, so I think it's me or keep that pile of work on the desk out there."

He smirked, approving of my answer. "Do you even have any experience in this field?"

"I have experience in management, I think I can handle a little secretarial work."

"This is a fast-paced environment, a lot of detail-oriented work, and I don't have time to train you. But I provide adequate compensation." He printed out a page and shoved the paper towards me, showing a generous salary that was quadruple what I'd made at my previous restaurant job. Wow! "You'll start off-the-books as a contractor. If after a month we mutually agree this is the job for you, I'll hire you full time."

Trying to keep the enthusiasm out of my voice, I said, "I'll take it."

"Jessica said you can start now, so go ahead. Get to it." He dismissed me and I stood, taking a deep breath as I stalked to the cluttered desk outside his office.

Throwing myself into work was easy, and actually felt good. For the first time in months, I didn't feel haunted by memories of my past. I stayed focused on the tasks at hand, organizing my workplace, filing away paperwork from months ago, and returning phone calls to set up appointments on Harvey's calendar. If I was unsure about something, I always sweet-talked my way to a person who could help me.

As promised, my new boss didn't micromanage me, out of the office much of the day and leaving me to my own devices until evening. It was nearing sunset when the phone intercom buzzed and he called me into his office.

"Set up a meeting with Bill Winters ASAP, and you screwed up the calendar - the deposition is supposed to be before the hearing next Tuesday... Are you even listening to me?" He snapped his fingers angrily.

"Sorry, I forgot to bring a notebook to write..."

"Then what are you waiting for? Go get it!"

I scampered away and took a deep breath. That name had sent a sharp shiver down my spine: Bill Winters. What are the chances, though? There must be plenty of wealthy New York businessmen with that name.

Harvey cleared his throat loudly, signaling that I should hurry, so I grabbed my notebook and came back, writing as I walked. He pointed out more errors that I'd made with the schedule and followed up about assignments that'd been left on the desk, until finally, I gave him a pathetic look, wishing to die.

"Be here tomorrow morning at eight o'clock sharp. Early is on time, and on time is late. Remember that." He stood suddenly and gave me another handshake. "Good job today."

Smiling at the sincerity in his voice, I managed to squeak, "see you tomorrow," and hurried out of there.

Day one of work was over and suddenly every ounce of me swam in trepidation. I bummed a cigarette from a stranger, my second of the day, as I walked through the crowded, trash-littered streets. _What if Bill Winters is the same guy?_

A fleeting thought about my old partner in crime, Sage, came as I found the subway station, stepping out my half-smoked cigarette and descending into the murky underworld. Both of us had agreed that it was for our own good to stay out of touch while she was on house arrest, but I couldn't get rid of the guilt that came with letting her take the fall unless I knew she was okay.

Before my thoughts turned into a panic attack, I plugged my ears with music and breathed in the musty air, shutting my eyes for a moment. _I'm a new person now, I'm Angela Montero. And I'm great at faking it til I make it and not getting caught. I can do this._

x-x-x-x

The aroma of spice and onion filled the living room and my stomach growled when I entered. Music blared from the stereo, classic rock, and Seeley sang and danced along, not realizing that I'd come in until the door slammed behind me.

"Oh, hey kiddo, how was your first day?" He reached to turn down the volume, then returned to stirring something in the pan.

Tossing my bag into my half of the room, I heaved a sigh and plopped down at the kitchen table. "I'm not cut out for this type of work," I grumbled. My mood had taken a turn for the worst during the commute home, exhaustion and hunger causing me to regress to the mindset of a sulky nine-year-old.

"It's only the first day, how can you say that?"

"Really, Seeley? I'm an artist, not an office person."

"You're adaptable. Just do this to work your way through college. Look," he grabbed a couple of brochures and handed them to me, "I picked up these applications."

"This is all virtual now, ya know." But I appreciated the sentiment. "My own family didn't even help me with the college stuff."

"And because of that, you're stronger. And yes, I realize it's virtual now but we have tons of those lying around at the office." He turned back to the stove, and I glanced down at the papers. Somehow I doubted he just stumbled upon them at work. They were from art schools, Pratt Institute and the School of Visual Arts. Wow, he really thinks highly of my artistic ability. "Did you smoke today?"

Clearly his expectation of my ability to quit smoking was lower. I glanced up at him and shrugged. "You can't expect me to work in a law office and not plead the fifth right now."

"We're not in court, the fifth doesn't work with me." He took a taste of the food, then turned off the burner and came to the table, wooden spoon still in hand. "I guess a more appropriate question would be, how much did you smoke today?"

I felt intimidated, seeing how tall he stood over me with his serious face. Gulping, I whined, "Why does this have to be part of the deal?"

He shook his head, breaking eye contact to reach for two bowls out of the cabinet. Without a word, he filled them with a red, eggy substance, placing the bowl in front of me as if I were a child. Ew. It didn't look as appetizing as greasy takeout.

"It's _shakshuka_, a traditional Egyptian meal. After my parents died and I moved to Holland, my aunt made this to give me a little taste of home." He peered at me now to notice my scrunched up nose. "You'll eat every bite, or you know what will happen," he threatened in a low voice.

My heart thumped as I thought, he wouldn't! But I knew he would. Or would he? Instead of pondering the question, I stood and reached inside the fridge for a beer, only for him to almost close it on my hand.

"Water or juice only for dinner."

"Seriously? Seeley, come on, I don't need you treating me like a kid."

"I will not keep reminding you of the thirty days we're doing this." His tone was kind yet firm, and he gently pushed me back into my seat. With the expression of a stern big brother, he withdrew two pitchers: water or grapefruit juice.

"Twenty-nine days now," I huffed, confused and irritated. I'd never been in this kind of predicament... people always gave in to my demands, even as a child. But Seeley was playing the strict guardian role, unfazed by my big adorable puppy eyes. "This isn't fair!" I whined, settling on water.

His expression softened when he sat beside me, pouring our drinks and complimenting my new clothes. "It seems you and Jessica hit it off. She's happy to have you as part of our 'spanko family' as she calls it."

"She's cool... I like her vibe." I took a bite of my food, humming with satisfaction as I remembered Jack the psychiatrist again, his smirk and cocky attraction to me. "You have a lot of friends in the lifestyle."

"Most of it is thanks to Jessica... She introduced me to everyone, though I met her through Violet. Sometimes we have social events: we meet at Jessica's apartment and administer spankings in 'public'." He paused to study my body language before asking, "what do you think about that?"

With a shrug and nervous gulp of water, I said, "I'm down. Could be fun."

We continued the conversation, discussing my new job and his day at work. The food was tasty and Seeley's humor had me back to a good mood in no time, all thoughts of Bill Winters and cigarettes far from my mind. But when we finished the meal and I began washing the dishes, Seeley interrupted me with the dreadful words: "We still need to have a discussion."

"What do you mean?" I asked, shifting from one foot to the other and chewing on my lower lip, feeling myself regress again.

He waited till I finished then led me to the couch and sat down, pulling me to sit on his lap. I blushed profusely, wanting to squirm away, but he held me in place. Looking into my eyes he asked, "Why does quitting smoking have to be part of the deal?"

I searched for the answer in his face, any clue about what he wanted to hear, finding it a little too easy. "Because we're doing things your way for a month so you can 'help me'."

"Why else?"

Glancing at the ceiling in annoyance, I muttered, "because smoking is dangerous and causes cancer and yada yada."

"Exactly. It's addictive and harmful. I'm not trying to make too many big changes at once..."

My snort cut him off. "Sure could've fooled me."

"Not smoking is important, #1 bad habit to change. #2 is your circadian rhythm... you need to sleep at night and be awake during the day. Having your job will help with this."

"Ugh, I hate my job, can I change that?"

"If you find another job, sure. But be practical. It's good money and also prestigious. It will be beneficial for you, especially if you want to aim high and achieve your dreams."

My shoulders slumped, a little sad at the reality.

"And it's never easy to make money unless you're doing something illegal, which I don't think I have to remind you, isn't worth the risk."

I glanced up at him to see if there was any trace of him knowing my past, but it didn't seem to be there. It was just typical concerned Seeley, looking out for me. "I'm not stupid enough to take that risk."

"How many cigarettes did you smoke today?"

"Two," I admitted.

His eyebrows raised in surprise, not doubting the sincerity of my answer for a second. "Is there anything else you need a spanking for tonight?"

"Of course not!"

"Are you sure about that?" I nodded. "What was the penalty we agreed on for smoking?"

With a grumble, I said, "Ten swats with the hairbrush for each cigarette."

"Get ready for bed, then we'll address it."

I nervously changed into a pair of thin cartoon pajama shorts with a black tank top, then scurried to the bathroom to brush my teeth, taking my time. When I emerged almost ten minutes later, Seeley sat on the sofa, waiting patiently.

"C'mon kiddo, let's get this over with." He patted his lap, somehow convinced that I'd come to him on my own. My legs stood frozen in place, and I considered ways to talk him out of it.

"I only had two cigarettes today though, and it was such a stressful day… I really wanted more! You should be proud of me for not smoking like… ten of them."

"I am proud of you, but you're not getting out of this, kiddo."

Taking a mini step forward, my eyes teared up, and I pleaded even more. "Tomorrow I won't smoke at all."

"Let's hope not. Now get over here."

When I didn't move, he reached for my wrist and pulled me towards him. I dared glance into his eyes to see a no-nonsense glare, right before I fell over his lap. Without another word he swiped down my shorts and panties, not giving me enough time to process everything before tapping the plastic paddle brush against my bare bum.

The first five swats landed on my right butt cheek, not as painful as I'd imagined, but prompting a squeal. Seeley delivered the next five to my left cheek at the same intensity.

"Owwwie!" I squawked, kicking a little and reaching my hand back to block.

"Is there anything else you need to tell me? Last chance."

I glanced over my shoulder at him and shook my head. "Noooo! I'm a good girl."

"Uh-huh. So we're halfway done. Move your hand."

Instead of obeying, my eyes welled up with tears and I pouted, trying to guilt him into ending the punishment. It didn't work. He seized my hand in his, restraining it against the small of my back, and lifted the brush again. Biting my lower lip, I braced myself for the next ten smacks that came hard and fast, alternating between sit spots.

"The agreement is ten swats per cigarette, and that will not change, kiddo. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I cried.

He set down the brush and replaced my clothes, standing me in front of him. My hands flew to my bottom, rubbing furiously to ease the subtle pain as I watched Seeley. His eyebrow was cocked but eyes sparkled with content. I put on my most pathetic face to make him feel sorry for me and he softened a bit, smiling and pulling me forward in a hug, and finally to sit on his lap. "You take advantage of being cute too much."

With a giggle, I claimed, "I can't help it!"

His head shook. "Bedtime in one hour, kiddo. TV until then?"

My eyes brightened and mouth dropped in exaggerated, sincere excitement. Mindless family sitcoms helped us both cope, and cuddles are always nice. "With popcorn and beer?"

"Don't push it," Seeley said, face turning semi-serious again.

"Just kidding!" I snuggled up, settling into his lap and sighing happily. For a moment my cheeks flushed with gratitude, thoughts of work problems evaporated from consciousness. Seeley actually cared about me, wanted to help me make something of myself. It was my ticket out of the past, and so far it was working. I had a great job, new friends, and had only smoked two cigarettes in the whole day. Even if the worst-case scenario happened, he'd be there.

x-x-x-x

We fell into our new routine: Running each morning at sunrise with Jack and others, back-to-back showers, silent commutes together to work, then meeting again in the evening for dinner and discussion of our day. My smoking ceased after a while, but often we found little infractions for him to spank me over. Then we cuddled and watched tv until it was "bedtime" and Seeley tucked me in with a kiss on the forehead.

It was overwhelming to live the "little" fantasy that I'd idealized in my mind for so long. Almost too good to be true. I'd always wanted a guardian who would lead by example and enforce healthy habits. Seeley easily slipped into that role for me. Staying on the straight and narrow was boring but so far had kept me out of trouble. Just a tiny part of me was starting to feel rebellious, ready to be on my own again.

Work became monotonous. Harvey was strict but fair. I got used to being yelled at (because I really wasn't that great at my job) and he gave me credit when it was due. At least my past work in the service industry helped me keep my boss pleased. I dressed as sexy as our formal office environment allowed, brought him coffee when he needed, sweet-talked to angry clients until they calmed down, and weaseled our way into important events. I'm sure that's the only reason he didn't fire me from the beginning.

As my first full week at work ended, I focused once again on my new social life. Friends: something I didn't have much of in Michigan. Now I chatted with Jessica frequently throughout the day and jogged next to Jack every morning making small talk. Daisy and I didn't vibe well, but I considered her an acquaintance. And Seeley was the mentor I never thought I'd have. The "spanko family" as Jessica called it. A piece of me worried of disappointing them, but the rest of my puzzle felt secure, comfortable, complete.

_My life as Angela Montero in New York City will work out. I can feel it!_


End file.
